How Returning to Work Affects Child Sleep

Change for everyone

Prior to a mother’s return to work, she has usually been her baby’s biggest constant. As such, her absence is notable. Whilst little ones do adapt, a period of adjustment is somewhat inevitable. Many mums also find the upcoming shift back into “work mode” daunting – as Corporate and Executive Coach, Nikki Alderson, explains: “With each and every career break returner I have come across, a loss of confidence presents as a challenge.” On that basis then, know that you are not alone. On top of the extended time away from work, I find consistently with clients that having struggled with their little one’s sleep has left a mum doubting her abilities. Rest assured that child sleep is complex and often counterintuitive – and many extremely competent parents struggle with it!

A need to connect

When a child first begins to spend extended time away from mum, he will look for opportunities to reconnect – even if that is at 2am! Children may need lots of extra reassurance to navigate this tricky period - it will pass, as your little one settles into his new routine and realises that you always come back.

As well as connecting with your child, Nikki advises that aligning yourself with a supportive “team” at work can really help to navigate any feelings of being [ the only] person experiencing a return to work lack of confidence. Listening to the shared experiences of an empathetic boss, a friendly co-worker, inspiring role-models, a mentor or coach, can help you realise your experiences are completely normal, not unusual and most importantly, not insurmountable.

Plan and prepare

If the return-to-work can be phased, there are a number of advantages. Initially spreading working days out means more chance to recover after a night of broken sleep. At the very least, temporarily keeping weekends relatively clear can make a huge difference. Shorter working days, if possible and at least initially, enable quality time with your child ahead of bedtime, thereby filling up the “mummy and me” tank prior to the separation of sleep.

This is a point on which Nikki agrees: “There is certainly something to be said for a gradual build up to you return, for you and your little one, in terms of having at least one Keep In Touch day, discussing a possible phased return, combined with a morning/afternoon working from home familiarising yourself with Continuing Practice Development and other new developments within your area of work, and practising using any new technology”.

The impact of childcare

For many children, childcare is a way of life. There are fantastic nurseries and childminders out there but sleep-knowledge varies greatly. The biggest stumbling block I see is dropping to one nap before a little one is developmentally ready. Typically, children sit best on two naps until around 15 months and those who drop to one nap much before this often struggle. Yet many childcare settings push children from two naps to one around their first birthday which can create overtiredness – the nemesis of sound sleep.

Whilst sleep expertise is not guaranteed amongst childcare providers, most are willing to accommodate parents’ requests so it’s always worth being clear about how you want the daytime schedule to look. If your little one is still taking two naps at home, don’t be persuaded that dropping to one, especially with other significant changes also occurring, is best for your child.

A changing routine

Changes, even subtle ones, to the time a little one is up for the day and even when they eat their meals has the potential to affect their sleep. This is because the circadian rhythm is anchored by environmental factors such as exposure to light and also meal times. Babies and toddlers clearly don’t have the benefit of being able to tell the time – rather they are driven by what time it feels like. As such, if the circadian rhythm cues move, little ones will typically be ready to sleep for the night earlier or later than you are used to – either of which can make bedtime challenging.

Childcare providers are clearly unlikely to move mealtimes to suit one child so the best way to approach this is to understand exactly what your child’s new schedule will be and to make gradual adjustments so as to ultimately implement those timings at home ahead of your return to work.

Limit the changes

A common theme running through all of these tips is to limit the number of changes a little one is exposed to in one go. Some children are naturally more adaptable than others but almost all deal with change better when it is incremental. Mapping out everything that will be different for your little one upon your return to work enables you to manage the process as a series of smaller changes as opposed to asking a child to deal with a much larger, and therefore more unsettling, shift.

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